My anti-Social Take on Social Media
by: Karen Scharf, Small Business Marketing Consultant
Alright, I’ll admit, I’m a little down on social media right now, so my opinion at the moment might be a bit jaded. But I think I have a good reason for that, and I’m sure you’ll agree when I tell you what happened…
I logged into Twitter and said Hello (via the @ sign) to a follower I hadn’t “spoken” to in a while. I asked him how he was doing, and he immediately replied that he was doing awful. So, after a few conversational snippets back and forth (after all, you’re limited to how much you can say in 140 characters) it turns out that he was very distraught over current events in Iran and the belief that the world was basically coming to an end. And then within the next few tweets, he told me he planned to kill himself.
Now, I know from experience that this is not the type of threat that should be taken lightly. I kind of panicked (you know, it’s a Mom thing) and immediately jumped into action trying to figure out how to contact this guy “for real”. I spent the next 2 hours trying to contact him through Myspace (I don’t have a Myspace account so I had to call my niece for her login information) doing Google searches on his name, calling directory assistance in his home town. I was really getting worried because he wasn’t “answering” any of my tweets or direct messages.
In fact, he wasn’t tweeting at all, which got me really, really worried. Until finally, after refreshing his profile page a gazillion times, one lone tweet made its way through. I was distressed to see that the tweet was still depressing in nature. But after reading it twice, it dawned on me that that particular tweet sounded very familiar. I scrolled down his page and found the exact same tweet, word for word, which had been posted several hours earlier. Scrolling down a bit more, I found another identical tweet from several hours earlier. Then another, and another. And when I say identical, I mean identical. Exact same wording, exact same punctuation; the exact same comma was misplaced in every single tweet.
And then it dawned on me… these are auto-tweets! This guy didn’t threaten suicide, he engineered one very elaborate hoax (OK, maybe not that elaborate, I was probably the only idiot who fell for it!) He just used automated software or an outside service to post the same depressing tweet over and over again. He probably wasn’t even sitting in front of his computer. In fact, he was probably off playing racquet ball and enjoying huge belly-laughs with his buddies over his little scheme.
Believe it or not, the point I am trying to make here has nothing to do with faking a suicide threat (although you better NEVER do that!! Bad doggie!!) And, to be perfectly honest, I’m not really sure what the point I’m trying to make is. Other than the fact that I am taking a serious look at social media and how it all fits into my own marketing strategy. I’m beginning to think that calling it “social” media is a definite oxymoron.
Here’s what I’ve been noticing lately…
I don’t auto-follow anyone on Twitter, so if I get a new follower whom I don’t immediately follow back, since I want to check out her profile first, often times the new follower will “unfollow” me. So, did she really want to follow me and/or learn from anything I had to say in the first place, or was she merely trying to “grow her numbers”?
There are so many different programs and services out there that will post to your various profiles automatically. You enter the post once, it gets populated over and over again, on a totally automated, hands off basis. And I know this for a fact since I do use a few of these services. But does auto-text really qualify as “saying” something? I don’t believe that’s “having a conversation” anymore than calling your phone and leaving a voicemail message is having a conversation.
With all the desktop applications out there, it’s easy to filter out various messages and only “listen” to a select few. I’m guilty – I use these applications myself. So what’s the point in saying I have X number of friends or X number of subscribers if I’m not really “listening” to half of them anyway? Social media? Seems kind of anti-social to me. Can you really call that having “friends”?
And that brings up the whole definition of a “friend”. I was on the phone the other day with a (real) friend. She happened to mention that she was “friends” with a person whom I greatly admire. I was kind of surprised since she had never mentioned meeting him in the past, so I prodded for more details. It turns out she follows him on Twitter. Huh?! That’s what constitutes friendship now?! A one-sided, computer-generated, 140-character, I’m not really listening to you auto-text? That almost made me sad.
It made me sad to wonder if that is the direction the world is headed in. It made me sad to think that the kids of today believe sitting all alone in your room, typing 140 characters into your iPhone and sending it off to someone you’ve never met is actually what “friendship” is all about. It made sad that, when my daughter was writing a thank you note to her great-aunt, her roommate suggested she just send an email since it’s faster.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m full of sour grapes thanks to Mr. I’m-Gonna-Fake-A-Suicide-Threat-And-Laugh-About-It-All-Day-Long. Maybe I’m just getting old. All I can say is that, right now, I am reconsidering my thoughts on social media – not that it has no value, just that it certainly isn’t what I would consider social. Give me a good old-fashioned, handwritten thank you card any day.
Entrepreneur’s Accountability Club
And on a completely unrelated note…
Ready to start your own article marketing campaign? Join us for our July Entrepreneur’s Accountability Club as we walk through the steps to creating your first article set. We’ll do the keyword research, outline your first articles (I’ve got a super easy format for this!), identify publication sources and map out a plan for getting your articles distributed. That meeting is scheduled for Thursday, July 16 at 4pm Eastern Time, and you can register right here>>>
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:17 am
Ha that’s exactly why i don’t do anything on social Media. You never know who your talking to on those things!
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:45 am
Hi Karen, thanks a lot for your newsletter (sent my relaunched info this weeks Tuesday and from now on every Tuesday)! Yeah. But I twitter anyway
just get used to communicating continuously… I think twitter will soon be over if everybody abuses it in such extreme ways… What’s next? Greetings, Monika
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 am
Karen,
Like you, I have become sadly tired of social networks. I really do not see any benefit to them in business at all.
I have literally thousands of followers on the different medias, and I do not see any benefit to my business. The only real result I have noticed is a lack of productivity on my part in the time I spend each day notifying “friends” that I have been busy.
I probably make about 15-20 live posts per day to 23 different social sites, and after 5 months of checking various stats in my cPanel, I have not had a single sale from any of them. I have only given away 1 free ebook.
While your post was more of a personal theme, while mine is business related, I feel we have both got the same idea that social networks may not be the greatest thing in the world. Thank you for your article. Chuck
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 am
I have to say I disagree with your opinion. Social media has a definite place in being social. Often times all we need is 140 characters to make our point, so why belabor the issue. Society is moving faster today and social media is the perfect fit.
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:52 am
Monika,
I’m so glad to hear about your relaunch! It’s been exciting to watch that in the works. I only wish I could speak German!!!
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:00 am
Chuck,
Believe it or not, we can actually track quite a few subscribers and new customers to our social media efforts. We’ve mostly be using social media for lead generation, and it seems to work well in that regard.
But to me, it just doesn’t feel “social”. Which is why we’ve recently added pURL marketing and surveys to our mix – they are both great ways to get to know our new subscribers a bit better.
If you, too, are using social media for lead generation, can I make a suggestion? Move your “Download Your FREE Copy Now!!” form up toward the top of your page. To make it easy on yourself and limit the amount of design change you’d have to do, I suggest you move it to where the “Your Account” login box is.
People who already have an account with you will spend a few extra seconds searching for their login box. But brand new visitors to your site will decide in a milisecond whether or not they should stay. If you move the freebie box up top where they can see it immediately, they will immediately realize that they do, in fact, have a reason to stay. And you’ll grab a lot more prospect contact info!
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:04 am
I’ve been online since 1995.
And for me it’s always been about building relationships.
Building communities, networks, relationships, friendships.
Something I am very deliberate about is taking the relationship off line as soon as it feels right. I pick up the phone.
In 2007 I went on a six month road trip and in six months I paid for about ten rooms, I was great at bringing hostess gifts and picking up dinner checks, and I was always staying in the homes of friends & family of course.
Many many of those friends were people I had known online and on the phone for years.
I totally get what you are saying Karen and I just wanted to present a different experience.
I have twitter, though I don’t tweet very much, still I get notices that so and so is following me.
There are several communities where I can be found playing, where there is no genuine interaction I am not likely to return.
It’s kinda fun to unfriend someone like your faker – “Off with their heads!”
Karen, thanks for showing up and making a contribution of authenticity to the whole deal.
be well and
Remember, Who You Are Makes A Difference!
Maran
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:09 am
Maran,
Thanks so much for that insight! I love the idea of taking the relationship off-line as soon as possible. Do you have any suggestions to share with us for doing that?
Personally, we do a lot of postcard marketing, and try to send a handwritten follow up postcard to new subscribers as soon as we get their mailing address. It definitely makes me feel more connected. But I know that I don’t use the phone any where NEAR as much as I should. I guess I should start adding that into my weekly plan. Thanks for the inspiration!!
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:16 am
i totally agree. i started im online 6 months ago. 1 month learning 2 months trying out all the different marketing methods.
all along the e books were telling me join twitter.
when i had 2500 followers i tweeed a product and had 1000 responses within 2 days. so i thought wow, and made 4 profiles and started to collect followers like a maniac. i now have 18000 followers.
in the meanwhile i have been developing my first product, building a website, doing the videos, sales pages, etc. it will all be ready within a week.
now as i had no list at all i was planning to use twitter as my main source of initial sales. i am told that nobody will jv with a complete beginner.
but i have notived a huge change on twitter. firstly over the last 2 months there has been a huge increase in the “tools” offered. also so many have multiple profiles (as i do). that is ok. it is the constant flow of marketing tweets that was initially nice, when it was balanced, but now it is a pain.
so the joke is on me. i will still have to tweet for my list – but i am going to refuse to do automated tweets.
i am going to refuse to put a link in my tweet. – they must read my profile and follow properly if they really want what i am offering.
i believe that i will get less response but will still get quality stuff.
and i suppose i will have to live with the slower startup.
once my list is supporting me, i am going to go back to twitter and remove the extra profiles, and then delete the constant advert tweeters and only keep real people as my followers/following.
eventually i expect i will have a maximum of 1000 or 2000 at most that will survive.
by the way the rumors flooding the forums is that twitter themselves are cleaning up thousands every day.
maybe they will fix it for all of us.
thanks.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:53 am
Rob,
You should hook up with Kevin at http://kevinpuls.net/ It sounds like you are both in similar business situations and you could probably do some collaborative work.
July 2nd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Hello Karen:
I so agree with what you have shared here. It became apparent to me a short while ago that I really don’t want a lot of followers on Twitter – or even friends on facebook – unless they are people I would want to know and / or do business with outside of Social Media. So, I stopped reading all of the “quick list building” ebooks and systems presented, and went back to really reading about the individuals and their backgrounds before requesting them as a friend, or accepting them as a friend, on facebook, and similarly on twitter. Quality, not quantity, has always been my philosophy – and whenever I break away from that ideal, my life gets completely out of balance, filled with stress and nervous energy, and nothing seems to work effectively or with joy.
After surviving cancer 5 times in the 80’s, and almost not making it – and being here today to talk about it – I made a pact with myself then that I would never again do anything that threw me out of balance. Well, with the fast pace of the world today, and all of the Social Media hype, it is so very easy to get thrown out of balance. When I found that happening to me, I realized that it was time to step back and explore my values, and adjust my thinking and my process for participation in SM.
I see the value – if it is used to alignment with one’s own tribe of like-minded individuals. After all, I connected with you through this system. And so far, I am thoroughly enjoying you and what you share. But, that said, I did my homework. And there is no question, it takes more time to get involved with SM doing it that way. Yet, my belief is that the relationships I will develop will be much more meaningful and fulfilling in the long run. And at my present stage in life, that’s all I really desire. Anything else I need will come from being in that place of balance and alignment with my purpose and my own tribe.
Thank you so much for addressing this concern. I feel blessed that we have connected.
Hugs – what can I say, I am a hugger, both on and off line.
Marilyn
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Marilyn,
You are obviously a woman of great wisdom and fortitude – who else could survive cancer 5 times!? That is amazing.
I love all the ideas you have shared with us since they are so applicable to life in general, and not just social media. Your philosophy of quality over quantity, staying in balance, stepping back and exploring our values and taking the time to develop more meaningful and fulfilling relationships can be applied to our business growth and marketing, but more importantly, they are great words to live by.
And I would like to thank you for that!!
~Karen
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:35 pm
I find that “social” media is just one more way for folks to avoid face to face relationships. It is hard to learn the art of listening to another person, so to avoid that and continue on our merry way, we invented social media.
No interaction, no personal responsibility, no body language, no give and take, no….nothing. I still prefer to see the person I am talking with across the table, not across the void of the internet.
I have avoided twitter, but am using facebook for business reasons only. If I lost contact with my classmates,there was a reason. Talking is becoming a lost art, just as letter writing is a lost art.
The world would be a better place if a handshake still meant your word, and if the blackberry got turned off once in a while.
July 3rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
[...] Social Media–Social or Media? Filed under: INFOCUSSELLING BLOG — infocusselling @ 3:00 pm Tags: prospecting, SALES, social media, time management I just read a great post from someone I respect as a marketer. She was upset regarding a recent Twitter experience. Read about it yourself, and I bet you will agree. Karen’s new non-friend. [...]
July 8th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Twitter Comment
reading: My anti-Social Take on Social Media – [link to post]
– Posted using Chat Catcher
July 8th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Twitter Comment
RT @joshhinds reading: My anti-Social Take on Social Media – [link to post]
– Posted using Chat Catcher
August 30th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
How long have you been blogging…your good at it.
April 4th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Dont let web design scare you its not that bad….
[..]Yesterday I was researching for an upcoming article and discovered this great post. [..]…
April 4th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Thanks for the info, I only read a couple blogs on a daily basis but I will be bookmarking yours and checking back often. Also, I like the theme you have on this site, it makes it easy to get to what I am looking for and doesnt distract me to the point that I have to leave,. Did you style your comments like this or is this how your theme was setup originally?
April 5th, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Social Bookmarking Tips Guide is unique website promotion and products marketing book written to increase AdSense and affiliate income, boost product sales, and make your sites as profitable as never before. Being completely different, Social Bookmarking Tips Guide will help you discovering new website promotion and product marketing tactics that really work today.
April 7th, 2010 at 11:24 am
I must say that generally I’m really impressed with this blog. After reading your post I can tell you are well-informed and knowledgeable about your writing. Keep up the great work and I’ll return for more! Cheers!
April 22nd, 2010 at 11:32 pm
Hello there, i have spent a time looking through your blog site and actually thought i ought to be courtesy enough to pass comment. i surely have enjoyed all your posts and i have high hopes you definitely will keep posting it for myself together with other people whom take pleasure in studying it.
April 23rd, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Bookmarked your web site. Thank you for sharing. Definitely worth the time away from my coursework.
May 14th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
If you liked this site you’ll probably like this site too: http://www.winfreegiftcardsonline.com . It is an awesome website for earning gift vouchers online .